Day 1 in New York : Overcoming Fears

My heart started pounding as we were getting closer. My cousin was driving me to the San Francisco Airport, my flight was at 6:00 am. I’m a 23 year-old heading to New York for the first time.
Not only for the first time, but my first solo-trip. if there’s something you have to know about me, it’s that I usually just do and make decisions without thinking. It’ll hit to me that exact moment when I’m facing that decision I’ve made.
something inside was making me nervously sick, I wanted to throw up, something wanted to hold me back.I didn’t know if it was fear, but those mixed emotions gave me flashbacks.
The last time I got on an airplane, I was 12 years-old.It was to get close to our destination to cross the border from Mexico. That memory is still so vivid. I didn’t want to remember but now that I was here waiting for my flight I couldn’t help it.
My Cousin before dropping me off was trying to comfort me, telling me it’s an easy process to check-in. I knew it was, it was the process inside me that wasn’t so easy.
That’s definitely not what my outfit made me look like, scared and insecure. I was fashionably dressed. My outfit, nails done made me feel confident, and even though I was extremely nervous I had to look fabulous when I arrived to New York.
As I’m at the airport, I’m questioning everything. I’m trying to tell myself it’s okay, sometimes memories can be painful.
This is why it was painful, before crossing the border I was on that airplane with my parents not having a single clue of what was going to happen, no one told me we were going to be crossing a desert, no one told me it would take me years to stop feeling afraid of hearing the phone ring, walking in the street, getting outside my town. Especially no one warned me that my parents, and myself would have to deal with pain, and move foward on our own.

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And now here I was, on my own heading to New York. A DACA (Dreamer) student doing something that few years ago thought it would be impossible to feel some sort of freedom from feeling oppressed since I was a kid. Since I got here to the U.S, it was the best that could of happened to me. Despite the pain, and obstacles well it made me who I am today.
A proud fearless woman, I refuse to be afraid ever again, even though I was scared to death to make this move, I had to face it.
5:50 am, I’m on line about to board the plane. All these people around me looked so confident, I wondered if someone was feeling the same as me.
I’m finally sitting down, still nervous. And my heart wanted to explode, until finally the airplane takes off.
My eyes were so tired that finally I fell asleep, and so did my mind. After a five hour flight, I’m finally in New York. As soon I was off the airplane I felt such peace and happiness.
Oh my god!I’m sitting at an Uber’s car as he’s driving listening to beautiful greek music. I’m speechless with all the views, it was too much to take in. Just picture this radiant sun, making the small simple little things look magical.
I’m finally at my destination, standing with my luggage observing that cute little park across my street.
People just sitting on the grass eating, kids chasing each other. And the group of friends hanging out by the stairs outside their home, gossiping and having a good time.
All I could think it’s; ” I’m f@#… crazy!.”
I was ready to explore, two blocks away I’m in Frederick Douglas Ave. I was starving looking for a place to have dinner, and watch my Warriors play.
Harlem Tavern was the perfect place to spent my Friday night, and watch my team play.
2:30 am and this is the only night I went early to bed. Before I completely fell asleep, lamp on, window opened, and wearing just my underwear because I came to New York just when the heat begun,I’m on bed writing.
This night never felt so good to be alone, and accomplished.But this is only Day 1. Alone four days in New York all kinds of things happened…
Be ready to read day 2.

#Empoweryourself

 

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